Bepantsed

1. WHEN WILBUR WAS A LITTLE BOY AND DADDY’S PANTS WERE FRAYED / 2. A SNIP OF THE SHEARS / A STITCH OR TWO / 3. AND WILBUR WAS BEPANTSED ANEW

Parents don’t like it, but are trying to stay in communication with their behaired sons and their bepantsed daughters. Although his daughters have his permission to wear slacks to school during extreme weather, they are not permitted to do so when the weather is good, said Ed VanDriel of 1212 West Mountain Avenue.

gee! i like your pants-suit, flotilla! i think i’ll wear mine tomorrow![…]One in every office···the first gal to sashay in to work bepantsed···

In the 1890’s “women were behind the stove,” he relates. But they cycled, too. “And they had difficulty pedalling bicycles with ankle-length skirts. “At the time,” Taylor said, “the most sinful thing a woman could do was to show light between her legs. “The original culotte was designed by a LAW member’s wife. The churches (in the East) termed this bepantsed female activity of biking “sinful bicycling,” he noted.

The winter pants didn’t fit either, I discovered, but I did find a couple of ancient pairs of wash-and-wears that came within a belt notch or so of fitting, close enough for wear as long as I kept the belt cinched up. Thus bepantsed, I went out and hit the men’s stores looking for a couple of cheap pairs of pants to do me over until I regained some weight.