Smell-o-vision

"Magnificent!" shouted our supercritical photographer as he leveled his eye at this picture [of a ham]. […] Perhaps "smell-o-vision" is needed to enjoy fully this Easter treat. Or, better still, taste SUNNYFIELD HAM yourself—either smoked or cooked ready-to-eat.

SMELLEVISION REPLACES TELEVISION! Carl Stalling sez, "It will never work!"

New model cars come out each year; the split-T and the soccer kick are new football offensive weapons. Black-and-white, then color TV and pretty soon smell-o-vision—that's progress.

Other techno-mancers forecast fax in the home, "smellevision" (television sets equipped to emit appropriate odors for each scene), and luminescent paints that store sunlight during the day and glow at night. These new products would surely brighten the future.

The film includes some marvelous 3-D special effects as well as flashing lights, a bubblemaker, smell-o-vision, and a surprise from the skies as well as a live actor and a cannon.

Meanwhile, in far-off laboratories of the Military-Infotainment Complex (to advance upon Stuart Moulthrop's phrase) at Disney or—yea, verily, even unto—Apple, some scientists work on synchronous smell-o-vision with real-time simulated fragrance degradation shifting from fresh ink to old mold; […]

So, until Netscape comes up with Smell-o-vision, reading about and looking at food on the Web will have to stave off those hunger pains.

Perhaps someday the SML (smelly markup language) standard will make it possible to connect a smell-o-vision peripheral to my FireWire port, and I'll be able to sniff the circle of boiled dough [a bagel] on the screen.