Turd

Ugh, there are turds in the toilet that haven’t been flushed away.

Thy teeth more comely than two dirty rakes are, / Thy breath is stronger than a douzen jakes are. / A fart for all perfumes, a turd for roses / Smell men but thee, they wish them selves all noses.

How gladly would I have ſtopt the filthy mouth of that long-tongued fellow with a turd!

[H]e's nea in a Banter by my Saul, gin ye had bean bye when he wreet, ye wold ha ſeen his Face furrow'd lik a dry Cow-Turd, an his Eyn as keen as an Engliſh Bull-Dog, an his Back as high as a Camels, ſo grat was his Wrath, an now he be a Soldier it be tan Times bigger.

When he met with any of them upon the Street, he would never fail to put ſome Trick or other upon them; ſometimes putting a fry'd Turd in their graduate Hoods; […] One Day that the Theologians were appointed all to meet in the Sorbonne, he made a Barbonneſa Tart, made of Store of Garlick, Galbanum, Aſſa fœtida, Caſtoreum, Dogs Turds very warm; which he ſteep'd, temper'd, and liquify'd in the corrupt Matter of pocky Biles and peſtiferous Botches; and, very early in the Morning, therewith anointed all the Lattices and Grates of the Sorbonne in ſuch ſort, that the Devil could not have endured it.

[…] just as Snitter felt himself exhausted and unable to do more, Rowf's rump slid suddenly forward as smoothly as a turd from a healthy anus […]

Thus, an insect that has evolved the useful disguise of looking very much like a piece of dung in order to damp the enthusiasm of any non-coprophagous predator is clearly on to a good thing but, as Stephen Jay Gould has wisely observed, what is the adaptive value in looking only 5 per cent like a turd?

Hell, as bird number 697 they could have looked like old turds and I still would have got excited.