Ultrasilent

After a while we began to wonder if we shouldn't have taken the Park Avenue place. The ultramodern, ultrasilent, ultraautomatic elevator started having fits of epilepsy, and several people got stuck in it on various occasions. They were released a few hours later by emergency squads, but came out dazed and with signs of an impending nervous breakdown, begging the emergency squad people to do something about the canned music which had kept them on the verge of insanity while they were waiting for their release.

Nat slipped his right hand into the pocket of his tan poplin windbreaker to reassure himself. The model 39 Smith & Wesson with its ultrasilent sound suppressor tugged at the bottom of the pocket. He’d carried this one since his days as a SEAL in Vietnam.

At one house the pledges decided to "walk" on the night that one of the actives decided to crash on the living room couch. In the middle of their ultrasilent trashing, the active woke up, looked around at the pledges frozen in mid-toilet-papering, and then fell back down feigning sleep. Naturally the only piece of furniture left unturned the next morning was the living room couch.